Words of Interest
ALBERT And The Lion
written by-Marriot Edgar and Wolseley Charles in 1932
|There's a famous
seaside place called Blackpool that's noted for fresh air and fun.
And Mr and Mrs Ramsbottom went there with young Albert, their son.
A grand little lad was young Albert all dressed in his best; quite a swell,
With a stick with an 'orses 'ead 'andle the finest that Woolworth's could sell.
They didn't think much to the ocean the waves they was fiddin' and small,
There was no wrecks and nobody drownded 'fact, nothing to laugh at at all.
So, seeking for farther amusement they paid and went into the zoo
Where they'd lions and tigers and camels and old ale and sandwiches, too
There was one great big lion called Wallace his nose were all covered with scars.
He lay in a somnolent posture with his face on the side of the bars.
Now Albert had heard about lions how they were ferocious and wild.
To see Wallace, laying so peaceful well, it didn't seem right to the child.
So straightway the brave little feller not showing a morsel of fear
Took his stick with the 'orses 'ead 'andIe and pushed it in Wallace's ear
You could see the lion didn't like it for, giving a kind of a roll,
He pulled Albert inside the cage with him and swallowed the little lad whole
Then Pa, who had seen the occurrence and didn't know what to do next
Said: 'Mother! Yon lion's 'et Albert!' and mother said: 'Well, I am vexed!'
Then Mr and Mrs Ramsbottom quite rightly when all's said and done
Complained to the animal keeper, that the lion had eaten their son.
The keeper was quite nice about it. He said: 'What a nasty mishap.
'Are you sure that it's your boy he's eaten?' Pa said: 'Am I sure? There's his cap!'
The manager had to be sent for he came and he said: 'what's to do?'
Pa said 'Yon lion's et Albert and 'im in 'is Sunday clothes, too.'
Then mother said: 'Right's right, young feller, I think it's a shame and a sin
For a lion to go and eat Albert and after we've paid to come in.
The manager wanted no trouble. He took out his purse right away,
Saying: 'How much to settle the matter?' Pa said 'What do you usually pay?'
But Mother had turned a bit awkward when she thought where her Albert had gone.
She said: 'No! Someone's got to be summonsed.' So that was decided upon.
Then off they went to the police station in front of the magistrate chap;
They told 'im what happened to Albert, and proved it by showing his cap.
The magistrate gave his opinion that no one was really to blame,
And said he hoped that the Ramsbottoms, would have further sons to their name.
At that mother got proper blazing, 'and thank you, sir, kindly,' said she.
'What, waste all our time raising children to feed ruddy lions? Not me!'
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